What I Have Learned In My Breastfeeding Journey

They say that breastfeeding is a community effort, and much more. Well, I can attest that it truly is.

My breastfeeding journey started when I gave birth to our first-born last April 2015. I may say that we started rough and on the wrong foot.

Even though this was my case, I still tried my best to provide the best nutrition I could give to Kristoff despite the struggles we encountered along the way. In this post, I want to share with you the lessons I learned (and I learned them the hard way) about breastfeeding and hope that I would inspire you in one way or another.

Lesson #1: My awareness of the concept of breastfeeding was mainly influenced by my history and the environment I grew up in.

Although I have first learned about breastfeeding when I was doing my research on pregnancy and newborn care, I was not really quite sold into the idea. You see, I grew up in an environment where formula-feeding was the norm. Even in my own family. My mom told me that she was not able to produce milk so it was her sister who breastfed me for some time. When we left my mother’s province (I was born in North Cotabato then we transferred to Bicol, my father’s hometown for about a year), I reckon that I was formula-fed since then. My sisters and brother were also formula-fed. In Saudi Arabia, where I grew up, all the children I met were formula-fed. So, my awareness of breastfeeding was really almost nada.

Lesson #2: Being informed and having a Birth Plan is important.

In my observation (thus you can prove me wrong), the practice of having a written birth plan is not really common in the Philippines. During my visits to my OBs, I was not asked about nor introduced to one. The period of giving birth is more of, “Ikaw na ang bahala, Doc” or “Kung ano ang pinakamabuting gawing, Doc” type of experience where we just put all our trust to our doctor’s expertise and opinions. I don’t have anything against OBs (I know a lot of good OBs, some are even my friends!). What I am trying to point out is that most of us expectant mothers are, well, not or less-informed about our options when giving birth (should I be induced to go to labor or not and what are the side-effects, etc) because we do not research much about it or attend Mother’s classes.

When I was about to give birth last 2015, my OB asked me if I was going to breastfeed my son or not. I thought about it really hard. “Yes, I’ll try” was my initial response thinking that if I don’t succeed with it, there will always be the option of switching to formula.

April came and I gave birth to our first beautiful baby boy. Kristoff was briefly put on my bare chest (for about 3 mins from what I remember) and then the nurse whisked him off. I just saw him again two days after. I just had recovered from a significant amount of blood loss and Kristoff was admitted in the NICU. That being experienced, we both did not fully experience “Unang Yakap” (yes, there is such a thing!). I also did not know of any lactation consultant, or that one role even existed.

Because I did not have any written birth plan, I was not able to communicate clearly to the medical staff present what my wishes were once Kristoff was born. So, maybe they assumed that breastfeeding was not a priority.

Lesson #3: Hospitals should strongly reinforce the value of breastfeeding, most especially in the NICU.

While I was discharged and sent home three days after giving birth, Kristoff needed to stay in the NICU for 10 days because of neonatal sepsis. While the NICU nurses encouraged me to be present every time it was his time to feed (which was every 2 to 3 hours, depending what time he’ll wake up) to facilitate breastfeeding, they also told my husband and I to buy formula in case no breastmilk is available. So, we abided since we don’t want Kristoff to go hungry.

Being present every feeding time was very difficult logistically. I went to the hospital daily, from 9am to 12nn and 2pm to 4pm, so that we can bond and Kristoff can latch. I would also bring at least 2 vials of breastmilk which I had successfully pumped using a hand-pump at home. Boy did it take a lot of hard work and patience to pull everything off!

During my visits to the NICU, I observed two things: 1) most of the nurses on duty assumed that new mothers already knew how breastfeeding was done so they would just give Kristoff to me and leave me on my own. It was only just this one nurse (who was assigned to be the lactation nurse, I presume) who taught me how to properly latch the baby when she saw me struggling on how to correctly position Kristoff. Although I have read a lot about proper latching and positioning on the internet, it was totally different when you already encounter the real thing, and 2) they had pacifiers for the babies, which I believe should not be the case if they are promoting breastfeeding. I learned that pacifiers would cause nipple confusion when I was doing my research. When I confronted one of the nurses, she said that that was the practice (face palm).

Not only should the NICU nurses be our allies in breastfeeding, but our OB and Pedia doctors as well.

Lesson #4: My husband was my biggest supporter and cheerleader.

When Kristoff was finally sent home, the real struggle of breastfeeding began (as if it did not start during his first ten days huhu). There were the sleepless nights which often involve the feeling of having all my energy being sucked out of me when it was time to feed (again! Did we not feed an hour ago?!). There were the issues about nipple sores and cracks but because I did not want Kristoff to go hungry, I’ll just suck all the pain up and just put olive oil after our feeding sessions. There were moments where I felt that I was not producing enough milk because it seemed that Kristoff is always hungry every 30 minutes or so. It was because of these factors that we had Kristoff mix-fed. We started from a 70-30 breast-to-formula milk ratio and slowly dwindled and reversed.

Although these were my daily struggle, I was blessed to have a very supportive husband. He always made sure that I feel comfortable and relaxed during feeding sessions — that I have water, some biscuits, and olive oil beside me. He always reminded me that it was time to pump “or else sayang ang milk ko” drink my moringa supplements. Sometimes, he would also stay up with me during night feedings so that I won’t feel alone. Whenever he saw Kristoff latch, he would always praise me and cheer me on. If it were not for my husband, I would have abandoned breastfeeding the very first night we brought Kristoff home.

But, even after all the support James gave for 2 and 1/2 months, I told him I would already like to wean because I cannot stand the pressure and the energy that breastfeeding demanded from me.

Lesson #5: Breastfeeding should be a personal decision and commitment.

When I told James my intention to wean, of course he became sad because he knew that breast is best. But he knew that my physical and mental state was also important so he still supported me.

When Kristoff was about to turn 4 months old, I noticed that my breasts were still producing milk, although little, when I was taking a shower. I couldn’t believe that it was possible for me to still leak even if it was already more than a month without Kristoff latching. I took that discovery as a sign that I am still able to produce milk and thought to myself “Sayang naman. Kung meron pa, baka pwede pa para kay Topet”.

So, I went online (like any typical millenial mom would do) and came across the term “relactation” (the process of resuming breastfeeding after a period of no breastfeeding or very little breastfeeding). I also found out about the Facebook group Breastfeeding Ilonggas and it was through that channel that I met Adhara (who is now an internaltionally certified Lactation Consultation, yehey!). It was through her help and support that I was able to increase my milk supply (from barely an ounce from both breasts to 4 ounces from each breast) and provide breastmilk for Kristoff for another 5 good months (a BIG thank you, Ads!). If breastfeeding Kristoff was difficult the first time, relactating was more difficult and required more effort from both our end, but, thank God the sweat and tears paid off.

This was his favorite position and our one and only shot during our relactation. Proves that relactation did really require patience, hardwork, and a lot of flexibility from my end. 😛

It was James’ and Adhara’s support that I was able to relactate, but it was my personal decision, commitment, and confidence that completed the formula for being successful at extending Kristoff’s chance to have breastmilk.

Lesson #6: Be with a community who also support breastfeeding.

When I met Adhara, I was also able to attend some gatherings organized by Breastfeeding Ilonggas. It was through these gatherings that I felt inspired, informed, and empowered to walk through the breastfeeding journey. Knowing that there were mothers who also have experienced what I went through made me feel and realize that I was not the only one going through the same problems. It was being part of a larger community that I can validate that, other than breastfeeding being a family affair, breastfeeding is also a community effort.

Now, Kristoff is on formula. We both may have experienced direct feeding for only around 3 months in total and I may only have experienced pumping until Kristoff’s 9th month, but I am proud to say that our family tried (and tried really hard) for providing Kristoff the best nutrition a mother can give.

So for all the mothers out there who are still breastfeeding, I salute you! You have a heart and a spirit of a warrior. For those mothers who already weaned, be it self- or child-initiated, I salute you for you gave all your best to provide for your baby! And finally, for those mothers who tried but saw that breastfeeding was not the best option at that moment due to a lot of valid reasons, I salute you for at least you still have considered to take this path, thinking and researching about it, even in the slightest degree. It does not make you less of a mother. At the end of the day, we all just want the best for our children. Don’t we?

Now that I am on my second pregnancy (and about to give birth next month!), I am hopeful that I have brought to heart all these lessons I learned and, by God’s grace, be successful in breastfeeding our second-born up to six months (or beyond!).

#breastfeeding #breastfeedingiloilo #insights #motherhood